Good morning ladies and gentlemen,
this is your flight attendant speaking.
Please fasten your seat belts.
The captain has asked me to remind you,
there is no smoking permitted in the lavatories,
and to tell you we are going down!
Our fiery crash landing into the ice-capped mountaintop
should be relatively painless but one never knows.
The temperature at the site is a brisk zero Celsius.
Should you require assistance upon our arrival,
do not hesitate to call upon your flight attendant.
Beverages with continental breakfast shall be served at Heaven’s Gate,
located in the main concourse compliments of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Everyone is welcome except reverend Frederick Phelps of the Hillsboro Baptist
Hillsboro Baptist Community Church, Topeka, Kansas, sitting in aisle 4 seat 2
You are going to hell.
Because ‘Freddy’, www dot god hates you dot com.
Thank you for flying our friendly skies.
And have a nice day.